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Tue Nov 26, 2002
location: Fort Smith, Arkansas

Hello to all,
My situation is this...I am a hospice aide. For those of you who may not be familiar with Hospice let me give you a short description. Someone who has been diagnosed with a terminal illness and has approx. 6-8 months to live are eligible for Hospice care. We provide RN's,aides to help with bathing,companionship etc.,a chaplain and other services for support. I have numerous friends and some relatives that are gay so please dont think I am non-supportive of this lifestyle. Anyway...my situation is that I am now caring for a 32 year old male with Hiv. He had been living with friends until they decided they didnt want the so-called burdon anymore so he is now confined to a nursing home. His family and friends have basically deserted him. I helped him place a call to his mom the other day and it broke my heart to hear him literally beg for her to please just come and see him. I deal with sad situations every day but this guy still has a positive attitude and hope for life. Are there any support groups,pen-pal sites and such that I could visit to help get him some friends and supporters throughout this lonely time. We are located in Fort Smith Arkansas and so far I have come up empty handed on all the corners that I have turned. The negativity that I have encountered just blows me away some times. If anyone could provide information it would be so deeply appreciated.Thank you for your site.
Teresa ~ email Teresa

Hello Teresa,
I have not added your message to the site yet as l have a suggestion.
You have written a strong and moving story and l'm sure people will want to respond after reading it.
It is always my policy to write and ask people if they want their email added to their story, it can of course be removed when you write and tell me.
One guy who put his story on the site has had over one hundred responses over the last year so you may like to do this.
Otherwise, l'm not too familiar with what else is out there.
I'm a bit behind in my research these days.
Let me know and l will add your story either way.
Carolena Helderman
project manager

Yes you may submit my e-mail address.I thank you so much for responding to my letter.Any help would be appreciated. I am at a dead-end street here.There is only minium help that I can provide with out crossing the line with my job. So this is really the only hope I have at this time.If he could at least have some people write him or send him cards that would keep his state of mind strong. They gave him only 8 months to live and it is has been almost 10. His strong will and headstrong attitude are helping him out so much but lack of family support and desertion of friends is wearing him down.I really dont want to see that.I am not saying how much longer he will survive but what time is left for him should be as positive as it can.
Thank you again and I will look forward to all the responses I get.

~ email Teresa

Mon Dec 2, 2002
location: CLaysburg

Well Its Dec 1 and i was seeing this guy well just messing around and now we are together he has a kid on the way by me...and i am 15 years old and everytime we had sex we did not use a condom.. well i am in 9th grade and my friend tells me that he has aids and we was talking about it last night (November 30) and we was talking about it and hes like i dont care what she says do you and i was like no because i knew he did not have any whitch i thought But then he goes i dont care because i have them i have aids.. And then he says to me i was just kidding i dont know if i should believe him or not.. I am goin to get tested. I am afiad i dont know what to do. Because i dont know reather if i should believe him or not. He told me he was just joking but i dont know. i am not postive yet but i will let you know here in a few months...
Wed Dec 4 2002
location = Memphis

I know many young women, who feel that a older man is better. In all actuality they are worse. Older men have been around longer and are more prone to carry disease than a younger man. I know this because I dated an older guy and all he did was cheat and bring drama. I advise all young women to use protection with these older guys. They can be dangerous. I am a 19 year old college student and my older and supposedly better boyfriend was cheating on me while i was away. I came home had sex with him and when I returned to school I tested positive for Chlamydia. God knows I am so scared to be tested for HIV in fear that I will be positive. Reality is so sobering. The moments were good but they are not worth my life. I'm trying to keep my composure but its hard when you know your not a bad person. It also hurts that a person would but your life in danger for their own pleasure with another- Reality Check in Memphis

Wed Dec 11, 2002
location: Reading

Hi my name is Jemma and im 13, i live in Reading, and i have been doing a project about HIV and Aids for school, i have been looking for sites that reflect on peoples past, and lets different people find other people who are in the same situation as them. I think this site is Brilliant and i have read lots of the stories and poems and would just like to say that i think this is so nice to be able to find a site like this and i think your amazing! I will defenetly come back to read more stories and i will research aids further and further. I want everyone out there too no that your not alone and keep hanging on Love and my best wishes xxxx thankyou for taking the time to read my letter and i would love it to be printed on the site if able! thankyou.

Mon Dec 16, 2002
location: Australia, Qld

This is a really interesting site! I was reading a magazine the other day and it had a headline about Teenagers with AIDS and it really shocked me, that is what got me interested into this site and finding out more information on it. I am 15 and have had sex, they were with guys that i do know but something that i don't know about them is how many people they have had sex with and i dont know if they have any diseases. This site has really opened my eyes and i am now really aware of how serious it is to use protection and be SAFE! I do not know of anyone that does have AIDS or HIV but i feel for you all! Thanks for this great site and for all those that do have HIV or AIDS keep strong!
love always, my thoughts are with all of you

Tue Dec 24, 2002
location: Australia

Hi I've have just been diagnosed with hiv Im a yound male and no dont do drugs aren't gay but had unprotected sex one time and bingo my number was up. My biggest concern was that I never had any kids, were's my mark going to be left on the world, who's going to remeber me or who's going to be there for me when I die, you don't know how alive or dead you feel when being given the news of a death sentence like this. I knew straight after the sex that I had hiv, man the last three months Ive been living like theirs no tomorrow (not in a risky sort of a way) and not taking life for granted as many of us tend to do pre Hiv. thanks a lot for reading my story and have a great xmas.

Fri Dec 27, 2002
location: san diego

Hi everyone,
I'm a 21 year old college student in california and I was diagnosed earlier in the year for herpes. It never really occured to me that I could of had something as devastating as AIDS until this fall when the symptoms common of HIV seemed to appear. One day I just decided to get tested for HIV and a fear that had somehow been hidden came to the surface. I was tested before I went home for christmas break and I won't get the results until I return to my campus in January. These past few days have been the scariest days of my life. Just thinking that I might test positive alters the way I function on a daily basis. I have only been with one girl but the girl I was with had a very bad reputation and I never stopped to think what the consequences could have been since we were unprotected. I just hope to God that I don't test positive and I know how everyone who has been through the same thing feels. In all my life, I can't think of a situation that has frightened me more. In spite of the possibility that I can test hiv-positive, I know that I have to continue living and I'm going to have to adapt to my circumstances the best I can. Thanks for listening everyone and God bless each of you.

Sat Dec 28, 2002
location: South Carolina

I just turn 27 and at this point I'm scared as hell. I have been having unprotected sex
for the last couple of months. Me and some friends where talking about HIV and realize just how easy it is to catch it and now I'm real scared but I know I have to get tested.
The fact that I've been haveing sex with more than one partner is what gets me. Now I can only pray that my luck has not run out. If I was to turn out to be HIV postive I don't know if I could handle it, my life would be turned up side down. I heard one of the girls.
I was messing with was with a person who is surspected of having AIDS. A whole lot of people could end up being hurt because of my careless actions and I hope thats not the case. I just wrote this because I hope it saves someones life or just make them think before they make the same mistake. So if someone gets to read this please wish me luck and make sure to always protect yourself. If turn out to be negative I don't think I will be makeing the same mistakes again just because of the scare. Please everyone go get tested if you have concerns because it could save a life.

Tue Jan 7, 2003
location: dc

i am afraid of getting tested i had unprotected sex a year ago and i have not been worried until now that i may be positive it is really bothering me i have two sons and i am so afraid of dying before they get old enough to function with out me i am terrified i am sitting here now crying i am so afraid i can't sleep or eat. i work in the medical field so getting tested is even scarier because i know people who may work for the labs and at the places to get meds, i do not want to be shunned i just want to live to see my kids grow up.

Tue Jan 7, 2003
location: mass

I'm a GWM and I've been having sex with a latino -- for over a year, but it ended last june. i'm hiv negative and he's positive with hepatitis b. on two occassions the condom broke inside me and i had to go on hiv meds for a month while i waited for results. they came back negative, but i had the worst fear in my life as a result of waiting.
the problem is i fell in love with this guy, and when he told me he couldn't have sex with me because he was afraid of transmitting hiv to me, i was devastated.
i'm lucky to be negative, and i'm trying to learn more about what it's like for positive people to get by in life. this is just miserable for everyone.
hiv will show you what fear is.

Thu Jan 9, 2003
location: east saint louis

I dont know how to start but here goes. I am 28 years old and i am not HIV positive but i have lived s so.my sg-othr is and in our community if people know about one then both are, he is illirate and the person that gave it to him not only blew his life but there child also and then ran out on them both and started another family with some one 10years her age, I think hat is bad to do it to someone but to desert someone who really dont understand but to be illirate and sick only make it worse. He found himself wanting to just end it all but he met me and i dont judge someone by their health but their heart and his is like gold. We have been a couple for 3 years as of Feb.14-2003 and i dont look at him as someone with Aids(because when i met him he was full blown)but as a human being., People look at me strange because some know about my statis but others know about my heart.
To me everyone should look at people as being positive and treat everyone the same way that way when you come across someone that is it wont be a shock or any worries because you have protected yourself to the best of your ability and if something like that happen then its just meant and take it as a lessn and teach someone how to be better and more wiser than you thought you were. This might not be much but i hope this helps.

Sat Jan 25, 2003
location: Manchester, NH

Hello everyone. well where do i start. i was 16 years old, from a good family, and a really smart girl and i got involved in the wrong crowd. i started hanging out with the kids that skip school and do drugs. i slept with a few boys but i used a condom. one night i slept with one, while i was drunk. He was an older guy about 22 and we didnt use a condom. A little while after that i overdosed on pills and was sent to the hospital. There, they tested me for many things, including HIV. The test wasnt positive, and it wasnt negative. I had to go for retests. My mother took me and i was so horrified that it would be posotive that i took alot of pills to mess up the results. it came back negative but i know i am posotive. it has been a year now and i am on and off sick, i used to never get sick. i am in a placement now and i dont know what i should do. i feel my swollen glands and sometimes i feel like im going to pass out. i dont feel like myself anymore. i cant cause anymore damage to my family, what should i do :*( please give some advice)
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