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"You tested positive for HIV"

My story began on April 19, 2001.

After not feeling well, and missing my period, I took a home pregnancy test to determine whether or not I was pregnant. Come to find out, I was.

For both myself and my husband, this was a shock. We are 31 and 32 years old, and have an 11 year old boy and 9 year old girl. Our lives were pretty much set on a path that we were happy with.
After much discussion about abortion, I told my husband we would have the baby. I told him there had to be a reason for this baby. Maybe so he could be present to experience everything he had missed with our first two while he was away with the military.

On May 23, I found out what the reason was.
My doctor called me in to discuss some test results. Little did I know going in that my life would change so dramaticly with five words--"You tested positive for HIV".

I was in the lowest risk group. Married 12 years in a monogomous relationship, no needle use with drugs, no blood transfusions, not even a hospitalization except to give birth to my two children.
I connected it all back to a concert my husband and I went to in the summer of 2000. I had had several drinks, and was feeling pretty good. I took my shoes off to walk in the grass. It felt soooo good!!
I pricked my foot on something. Upon closer examination by my husband, there was not a cut, just a drop of blood.
Being in the low risk group that we were in, it did not even occur to me, or my husband, that this could lead to where we are now. We just didn't think about it.

We have tried to live our lives in a way to avoid situations like this.
We did drugs, but did not use needles. Hell, we chose not to associate with people who did use needles. We have never strayed from our marriage. We have always done good by people in the belief that you reap what you sow.
We have been clean for 8 years now. Neither of us have had sex with anyone else since we got married.
One of the couselors at the local task force said that the odds of my second test coming back negative (will get the results in 12 days) are very slim. She said that on the first test, if you test positive, they automatically retest it two more times to try and reduce the risk of a false positive.

My whole life has changed. I will never be the same person I was, and will never look at things the same as I once did. This could be a bad thing, or it will be a good thing. I believe with all my heart that things happen for a reason.
That this happened for a reason. I will try to be on the frontline of helping inform people who don't think it can happen to them. To let them know that there is always a chance.
My life has had many chapters in it. My marriage, my children. I've helped my husband deal with the fact that he has Persian Gulf Syndrome.

This may be a whole new book, who knows.
I have faith in God that he will lead me in the right direction.


sent via e-mail, Cape Coral, FL, USA

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