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Single Mother of a 4 y.o

I just wanted to express my account about HIV/AIDS. I am 32 and a single mother of a 4 year old toddler. I was born and raised in San Francisco, where the HIV/AidS infection runs wild. I have had my share of sexual partners and all night parties. When I got pregnant, I was so scared so take the HIV test, that I didn't. I now realize that that was the biggest mistake anyone could make. I let my fear rule my unborn baby's future. After my son was born, all I could do was think about being HIV+, I breastfed him for a year and always kept the thought of having AIDs in the back of my mind. I was so stupid and selfish it makes me sick sometimes to think about my actions. With GOD's strength, I finally decided to get tested and know my status, on Thanksgiving Day in 2001, I tested HIV-. After falling to my knees and thanking GOD the guilt of what I didn't do just overwhelmed me. I just hate myself for being so foolish when I was pregnant. While waiting for the results, I hated myself in thinking that I infected my beautiful son. How dare I play with his future because I was so stupid. I thank GOD for giving me my life back. I feel for all those infected with this f**king disease and hope someday there will be a cure for all. For those who are infected, stay strong and continue to live your life. As for me, I have decided not to have sex and just raise my son to the best of my ability. Thanks for reading my little story!

~ story send via email from San Francisco February 5, 2002
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