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Loneliness hurts

Someone who well not reject me. because of my hiv .it's hard to ask for a date. Because i well have to tell her i am HIV+. i need love. and i need to love someone to. Well let's see. do you have HIV like me. I have been hiv ciens i was 10 and now am 33. And am steel here.


HIV put my life on hold because i wood not able to live with my Self if i infect someone. So i need someone with HIV like me or someone that understands me. I need to love someone. and someone to love me. i need the touch of a woman because it's time for me to be happy and to get a life. i need love to and. i ineed to love someone. time to live and be happy. i never been with a woman because of my HIV .because i put Others first. so now it.s time for me to live.i never been on a date.i never been touched by a loving woman.j ust like powder the movie. when the guy touched powder.powder startd crying well that,s me just like powder .no more Loneliness for me i need love. no more Dreams of love just to WAKE-UP with a broken heart and Loneliness no more.no more.the Loneliness hurts so bad. is,s not to late am just 33 years old.and got a lot love to give.to some body that needs love like me.the Loneliness hurts so bad.have you seen jhon Travolta boy in the bubble it,s an old movie.watch the movie powder to and then you well know how i feel. all my life i have been Protecting every body form me and my hiv .no more Hiading from People or from life.no more feeling like i do not deserve to be loved.every body deserves to be loved.for a long time i did not like to be tuchd because i did not want to infect any body with my hiv.i despise my self for a long time.nobody can live a Lone for ever.


so i had to learn to love my self .because i,m worthy of love from a women to. i want to feel her loving tuch .and
be held by a woman.i need to hold a woman to.i want her to feel my loving tuch to.
no more Loneliness for us it hurts.

it's lance all i do is cry now because the loneliness hurts so bad.seems like every body running. away form me. i think it's because thay do not want to get close to me .because thay are scared that are going to lose me to the HIV. so i am a lone all the time.no more loneliness . i go to the mall all the time and i still feel a lone .no matter were i go. i still love god and god loves me.
i'm still going up and down i had a bad night i still cant sleep i just lay in bed with my eyes Closed. still haveing anxiety.
i'm scarrd i'm going to be a lone for ever cant sleep when i close my eyes all i see is my wife and children .
and when i open my eyes no one is there.i ben crying from 4:00am to 11:19am.i can feel my body hurting
from the Loneliness.lance


Sent via Email April 11, 2004 from Texas, USA.

 
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