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Don't worry be happy

If you have put yourself in a situation that put you at risk of catching HIV then get tested. I know that it can be very scary, but life is too short to live in fear. Thinking day after day about what your first reaction would be to find out if you are HIV positive then insanity will keep growing larger on you. The feeling you have now may not be as bad as it would if finding that you are HIV positive. But, having to dwell on it will make you so sick to your stomach. This kind of anxiety will just cause cause you to neglict all the positive things that happened around you and you will regret it later on I promise you. Choosing to control your emotions without knowing whether or not you are HIV positive will be like trying to play ice hockey with dull hockey skates. Also, nobody would ever want to hang out with you when your personality changes from being so uptigt about the situation you are in. Being trapped inside a room by yourself because you can't stop dwelling on this problem would more likely make this nightmare come true than if you were to think happy thoughts and get tested imediately. Living in fear also makes it impossible to feel adequate about a relationship with someone who you love. Knowing that if Mr. or Mrs Right wants to make love with you then he/she would assume that it is a 100% safe without knowing that deep down inside you disagree and have guts to that person. If you go ahead and have sex with that person when even using a condom then you will just add twice as much as weight on your shoulders. The only way to ease your emotions freely from feeling isolated is to GET TESTED!!! You have nothing to lose but the precious time that you can enjoy if you keep backing out. Don't rely on the symptoms because they will just fuck your mind up even more and they are only 20% reliable which is one happy thought to keep inside your head. Also, another way to think positive is to keep in mind that the probability of anyone including homosexuals of catching HIV is no higher than 1/200 for each time needles are shared or having unprotected sex with a someone whose HIV positive is no higher than 1/200. For those who are worried because they have been around the block while having unprotected sex with numerous strangers or have just found out that their partner is HIV positive after sleeping with him/her several times don't panic!!! The best way to ease yout anxiety while getting tested is to just think of your odds as the chances of a ball landing on a certain number in a game of roulette at the casino. The number of times you have unprotected sex with someone who is HIV positive is the number of times that the you spend that wheel, so wear a condom just incase. Anyway, the bottom is to try to overcome your fear of getting tested and to not worry..be happy now.

Sent via Email May 27, 2004 from Calgary.

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