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If you have put yourself
in a situation that put you at risk of catching HIV then get tested. I
know that it can be very scary, but life is too short to live in fear.
Thinking day after day about what your first reaction would be to find
out if you are HIV positive then insanity will keep growing larger on
you. The feeling you have now may not be as bad as it would if finding
that you are HIV positive. But, having to dwell on it will make you so
sick to your stomach. This kind of anxiety will just cause cause you to
neglict all the positive things that happened around you and you will
regret it later on I promise you. Choosing to control your emotions without
knowing whether or not you are HIV positive will be like trying to play
ice hockey with dull hockey skates. Also, nobody would ever want to hang
out with you when your personality changes from being so uptigt about
the situation you are in. Being trapped inside a room by yourself because
you can't stop dwelling on this problem would more likely make this nightmare
come true than if you were to think happy thoughts and get tested imediately.
Living in fear also makes it impossible to feel adequate about a relationship
with someone who you love. Knowing that if Mr. or Mrs Right wants to make
love with you then he/she would assume that it is a 100% safe without
knowing that deep down inside you disagree and have guts to that person.
If you go ahead and have sex with that person when even using a condom
then you will just add twice as much as weight on your shoulders. The
only way to ease your emotions freely from feeling isolated is to GET
TESTED!!! You have nothing to lose but the precious time that you can
enjoy if you keep backing out. Don't rely on the symptoms because they
will just fuck your mind up even more and they are only 20% reliable which
is one happy thought to keep inside your head. Also, another way to think
positive is to keep in mind that the probability of anyone including homosexuals
of catching HIV is no higher than 1/200 for each time needles are shared
or having unprotected sex with a someone whose HIV positive is no higher
than 1/200. For those who are worried because they have been around the
block while having unprotected sex with numerous strangers or have just
found out that their partner is HIV positive after sleeping with him/her
several times don't panic!!! The best way to ease yout anxiety while getting
tested is to just think of your odds as the chances of a ball landing
on a certain number in a game of roulette at the casino. The number of
times you have unprotected sex with someone who is HIV positive is the
number of times that the you spend that wheel, so wear a condom just incase.
Anyway, the bottom is to try to overcome your fear of getting tested and
to not worry..be happy now.
Sent via Email May 27, 2004 from Calgary.
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