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I was so curious

THIS IS REALLY BIG... GO ON AND READ IT IF YOU WOULD LIKE.


This is the first time i have told anyone about what happend to me.
Ok so what do i write? Well let me tell you about me. When i was younger i was so curious. I liked doing all the things i knew that would get me caught and get me into trouble. I use to sneak out, drink, smoke, steal, lie. What didnt I do? At the age of 15 is when things started to get really bad, I was interested in sex.. even though i really wasnt interested in dateing,just sex. Where i live there really isnt anywhere for the kids to hang out, execpt for the skating rink. Mom and dad didnt mind that we went there because it kept us out of trouble. Or so they thought.


After going there for years and years a guy started working there. To me he was 19 really really cute, and ofcourse he flirted. Me being so young i loved it. I had attention from a older guy a cute one too.


After going to the roller rink every weekend this guy started giving more and more attention. We ended up some how giving our numbers to one another. I knew that mom and dad would be so mad to know that i gave our number out but more if they knew it was to a man. So i snuck around called him when they wernt home whatever i could. He was cool, or now i think about it he was really freaking weird. My life changed, it was on a Satuday and my parents were not home, my brother was watching us and i lied to him and said that i was going over to a friends. I ended up meeting "Jim the cute guy" and we went back to his house. I couldnt understand why he was in such a hurry to run into his house. Come to find out he didnt want anyone seeing us. He lives in a trailor park right by the skating rink. He said he didnt want his boss teasing him. I just thought we were going to his house to hang out, not have sex.


I dont even really remember how it happend it just did. I was so scared! Afterwards he kept laughing and saying god forgive me... over and over. And he said oh man that was nice over and over. Wierd. I felt ok though, i mean he was cool. I ended up going home that day and was so weird feeling inside me. I was nervouse i was scared i was just felt awful. I ended up telling my foster sister and she told my parents, i denied it. A year later after everyone knows about this because my foster sister had a big mouth... I was in school and i got called down to the principals office. I was asked by the principal if i slept with this man, talk about uncomfortable! I ofcourse lied, no. He said that their were girls in here that said you have. Still i said no. Until he said Nicole " I hope you are not lieing", i just insisted that i wasnt. Wondering why he kept asking me the same question. He said to me "Nicole this man is 36 years old, is infected with aids and is sleeping with girls like you, and girls are scared, tell me did you sleep with this man." I STARTED TO BREAK DOWN. I DID SLEEP WITH HIM... HE DOES HAVE AIDS... AND HE IS 36.

I didnt know what to do but cry. I was scared that my parents would find out for sure. And infact they did the school had to tell them. My mom ended up hateing me forever and didnt speak to me for ever, still to this day she holds this over my head. My dad actually looked at me when we were in court he cried and said 'you and I will get trough this' my dad was there with me the day i had to face "Jim" in court the feeling i had was worse then i could explain. I also had to sit there with my dad in the room and give full details of how he performed with me, what he did to me and exactly full details of everything. I felt like the biggest trashiest whore in the world. What my dad must of thought of his only daughter.


I REMEMBER THE JUDGES WORDS... JAMES .......... YOU ARE A SICK SICK MAN AND SHE LOOKED AT ME AND THE OTHER GIRLS THERE AND TOLD US "I ASSURE YOU THAT THIS MAN WILL NEVER DO THIS TO ANYONE EVER AGIAN", Yes there were more girls involved then just me, one which was pregnant. "Jim" also who told me his name was jim was really "............". And he was sentenced to 4-8 years in prison. Thats all. I dont know where he is today, i actually would love to find out what prision he is in because i have a few words for him... I am 20 now and every single day of my life i think about that man. God was beside me that day, i am clean and free of every thing. I just want everyone that will ever read this, that my life today has been effected by my poor decisions in the past. 'WHEN YOU MAKE EXCUSES IT STILL DOESNT HIDE THE TRUTH' thats my quote to you. Please remember that sex is just something not everything. Dont rush, its hard because everyone is doing it...you want to fit in doent you? So why not have sex?

 

READ MY STORY...READ ALL THESE STORIES... thats why. Shit happens, and it happens to anyone even if you are pretty and you have money and you have lots of friends. YOU ARE STILL A PERSON AND IT CAN HAPPEN TO YOU.. IT DID ME~ and a trizillion others.

 

Sent via Email, October 9, 2004 from Corry, USA.

 

 
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