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In your shoes

Hello Everyone,
I am a 27 year old female, and I was going through some of the things that some of you are going through. I was scared to know my status. I was a hypocondriack. Every time I would get a cold, or cough, I would say suppose this is a sign of being H.I.V positive. I was living in fear. I knew that it only took one time by having unprocted sex, so I was scared.
Then I rekindle an old flame with a wonderful guy that I use to date in my younger days, that told me that I needed to be tested before he would even think about taking this relationship any further. I respected the fact that he cared enough about himself to tell me that I needed to be tested because he was the first guy that actually wanted to see paper work, and he provided me with the same. I had met men before that always asked my status, but I could have told them anything, because they never asked for any type paper work.

A week before Thanksgiving I built up the courage to go to the Health Dept. to be tested. I was so scared because I have a 9 year old daughter, and I kept thinking about what if. The day before Thanksgiving I went to get my results, and when I walked in Patrick office at the Health Dept. I got so paranoid that I told him to forget about it, I was leaving, and did not want to know my results. To my surprise he yelled, I don't know why you don't want to know your results when your H.I.V negative. I cried like I had never cried before. Any one walking by would have thought that my results were positive because I was crying and shouting. I started thanking my "SAVIOR JESUS CHRIST", and I'm not a religious person, but I do believe in GOD.

I have since changed my life forever. Before I sleep with anyone else I will know their status. I learned to appreciate life. My days of playing jeapardy are over. I feel like GOD has given me a second chance, and I will not do anything to jeapordize that, because GOD is good. Every chance that I get I tell everyone to go get tested. Know your status, because by not knowing your putting others at risk.

To everyone who is scared to know their results, I walked in your shoes. I was very careless in my younger days, but once I found out my results, a burden had been lifted. I had walked around for so long not knowing that it was starting to kill me. So everyone please get tested so you will know your status.

To anyone that has tested positive know that no matter what GOD loves you, be strong and keep your head up. Don't let the disease conquer you, conquer the disease! Live each day like it your last, because no one is promised tomorrow.


Sent via Email, December 13, 2004 from Connecticut, USA.

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