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It's Serious

I have lived in Nebraska my whole life. Nebraska is full of cowboys and really sterotyped. Being a gay male in a small town in Nebraska in hell. I was made fun of so much that I met this girl on a chat line...she lived in Madison, Wisconsin..we talked for about a month when she asked me to move in with her. She had her own place, she ws 26, and also gay. She knew how old I was, and she sent me a greyhound ticket. I told my mom that the greyhound ticket was to go see a friend for the weekend who moved 3 hours away. I got on the bus and got to Wisconsin. It was fun. I never went to school, I was so depressed and sick of life, I got into drugs. I was extremely into drugs. Anything, everything, I didn't care what it was, but if it gave me a high, I would do it. Then I moved out of the girls house and was homeless for 3 to 4 months, I would go to areas where they were building houses, and I would sneak in there and sleep. I've been in Wisconsin for about 8 months, and didn't call my mom at all. Then one night I was at this party, I was so stoned and drunk, I decided to do cocaine. It wasn't my first time at all, I done it plenty times before. The cocaine was on a DVD case, from one corner to the other, I snorted about 6 lines altogether of cocaine in less than 3 minutes. I started to shake and spasm, then I blacked out. In the morning this guy was helping me out, and I was still kinda of out of it, he started to hit one me, tell me that we should have sex, I agreed because I didn't want it, but I wanted it. Well I didn't know him, but my friends did, they told me to do it. I slept with him and didn't know anything about him. At that time I was weighing around 170 pounds. The next week I had a terrible sore throat, stomach aches, fever, and a tremendous weight loss. In 2 months i had gone from 170 down to 125 pounds. I thought it was the drugs and didn't think anything of it. Then when I was in Wisconsin for about a year and 2 months, I dropped down to 105 pounds. 105 pounds...I was skin and bones, my face was sunk in, i was wearing the same clothes for weeks, then I called my mom, first time in a little over a year. She wasn't mad, she wanted me, and I wanted to be with her to...she sent me money to come home, I came home, and she was terrified about how i looked. Then she made me enroll into Job Corps. I did, and one of the things they do when you first come in, is give you and HIV test. They did my test, and about 1 week later, they called me up to the nurse, the nurse told me to sit down, she had told me that I tested positive for the AIDS virus. I was scared I didn't know what to do. Then I had my first doctor appointments, they took my blood and told me to come back in 2 weeks to find out my t-cell count and a full body check up...When I came back,,they said they had bad news, they told me that I had full blown AIDS, they said my t-cells were at 54. They did a full body check and found a fibrosis sarcoma mark under my testicals. They said i need to be put on medication right away. They ran some more test, and i had to wait a month this time to find out what ones to take. When I went back to the hospital, they had told me that this is a very rare case, and the strand of the virus i have is drug resistant to all medication they have available. That was just 6 months ago. I'm 18 right now. Today's date is February 28, 2005. My t-cells did raise to 63. But the skin cancer has spread. I don't know exactly when i'll be gone, but doctors said, that it will be before 2006. People need to know that this isn't a laughing matter...it's serious...

Sent via Email, February 26, 2005 from Nebraska, USA.

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