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Does anyone agree?

i'm not really not going to write much. this is mostly a question to others. i am a HIV positive blk female. i have been in and out of recovery for years. it was during my in recovery time that i became infected. you see i wasn't aware that my issue was with life, period. to claim a cliche' sex and love were the same thing. 90 days into my first bout of recovery i fell into love with an ex-iv user. the rest is history. my partners since do know about me but i still see the same patterns going on in my life. and as i've said i've been in and out of recovery, jails and institutions. what i'm getting to with all this is where is attention, if any given out about the sexual practices of those in recovery. particularily the first year. no relations does not mean no sex, in na/aa circles. when i speak to audiences all are surprised that i, 1)have a prison background, 2)have a substance problem, 3) am hiv positive, and also confess to be christian. ignorance will kill us. the manipulative mind of ANYONE that wants what they want, whether it be money, drugs or sex, can get one killed also. it comes down to how educated one is about hiv/std's and also their personnel level of self esteem. many a time i read stories of people who knew of it, but their "love" for the other blinded them. we all want to be held, loved, accepted and esteemed but until we do it for ourselves we will never know if what another is giving us is the genuine thing. i write this in surprise of myself because it is me of whom i am speaking, no third party person. i also write this because i KNOW thre are others like me out there, and also i want to speak on this from the highest hilltops. as a women in the us i am privey to be able to do that. many countries would cut out my tongue, much less anything else. but i don't know where to start. to end this i will say i have 2 daughters and 2 grandsons. i didn't tell my children until the oldest was pregnant. only by His grace did she not become infected from her sexual encounters as also my youngest daughter. by the time my grandsons are of "age" i want and need for them to know of the magnitude of responsibility that comes with sexual relations. in other words i speak on this so another of our children need not hear the words, "your test came back positive". hiv is till killing today, physcially, mentalily, and spiritually. all across this world. does any one agree?......

 

Sent via Email, April 4, 2005 from Michigan, USA

 
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