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Ease my mind

Hello. I'm reading these stories trying to ease my mind. I am a 24 y/o female. I've been tested for HIV twice on my own terms. Yes it actually took me two times (both equally horrifying). I had a lot of partners, though I have been in a monogomous relationship for alsmost three years now. When my boyfriend and I first got together I decided to get STD testing and HIV testing, I knew my boyfriend's STD HIV status (we had been close friends for years before dating) but I was unsure about mine, and didn't want to put him in danger. Well I tested negative that time, however, our relationship was not all that surious yet, plus we lived far away from one another, and about three weeks before I was tested for HIV I had unprotected sex with somebody other than my boyfriend. I felt horrible but was relieved to test negative. I didn't worry about the window of opportunity then. But now it's been two years, and I've been feeling pretty lousy- fatigue, nausea, weight loss- and my doctor asked if I knew my HIV status. At first I said yes, but later all those old and familiar fears came back. What if it didn't show up, and why did my doctor ask me about HIV? I had two complete blood counts in the past two monthes (both normal). I'm hoping that if my illness is related to HIV, that I would have some type of abnormalties in my blood count. But worrying is too much. I got tested again today at the health department, but cannot wait. I am going to get a rapid test tomorrow, and will get results the following business day, which is not until Mon. I have three days to worry instead of a week and a half, which my nerves cannot bare. I am so scared and sick. Maybe I'm sicker because of my anxiety. I just pray that I will be o.k. I know HIV can be detected as soon as 21 days, which might clear me, but I'm too scared to take that chance. I will let you know what happens.


Sent via Email, April 22, 2005 from USA.

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