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Well, it all started
out when I was 16 years old and I was having unprotective sex with my
boyfriend. I didn't think ever this would happen to me, and I don't know
why it did. I didn't do anything wrong, it was just a harm-less thing
as having sex. Well, we went to many parties, and I got drunk, ended up
having unprotective sex with about 3 boys or more. I was very stupid.
About weeks later, I got a cold. Well, it started getting worse and worse,
I didn't know what was wrong with me. I started feeling very 'out of it'.
I thought I was going to die, I could hardly breath! My mother made me
go to the doctor, I didn't think anything of it. I just thought I must
have catched something very severe. But, I was wrong. The doctor was checking,
then he said "I am going to check your blood," he said "It
may be something there." So he did, it took days and days and I think
even weeks for the results to come. Well, my mother came to me, it was
almost my 17th birthday. So, I thought something about having my party.
But no, she came with the results. She read it all first, she was crying.
I was so confused, then I found out I was HIV-positive. I started crying,
she didn't know I was having unprotective sex with so many guys. It was
just a very bad moment, I wish never happened. It was as if my mother
didn't trust me anymore, my mother told my father, then talked if it was
'safe' to tell the whole family. Well, they ended up telling them anyways.
Now, that people know I have AIDS, it's as if I am so 'different' from
people. No one even looks at me like they used to anymore. I am 20 years
old now, so it didn't happen too long ago. It's so bad though, it could
have been as simple as having protective sex, as simple as that! I didn't
think back then, now I do. And now that I do, no one even comes near me.
So, I feel as if no one loves me now. But I know my family does, even
if everyone knows the truth, its better that way. I don't want to ruin
anyone elses lives, because I ruined mine. So think about this. You should
always have protective sex, and trust the people that you do have sex
with.
Sent via Email May
3, 2005 from New York, USA.
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