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Life is where it is at

I dont know if this is the way you write a story,but I have one to tell.
I am 34yr old single mother of four children. I was dignosed with H.I.V. two years ago.
When I found out my first 3 children were with there dad. They would not let me see them
and wrongly filed an abandoment charges on me after a beating from there father who shot up drugs on a regular basis. I had been in a batter Woman shelter. There grandparents have them. Anyway on with the story.I Love them and miss them dearly.

I work in the with national talent. From every kind of music catgory. I contracted the disase from a former boyfriend. I foud papper work in his car when I was 5 months pregnate with my daughter. I was in denial. I tryed to do everything I could do to misscarry her but by the grace of god was not able to. I gave birth to her Jan.2003.
She tested+ at birth and I didnt think I could live with myself. I never wanted her to have to suffer for my wrong doings. They gave her the E-Z-T drug and two weeks she test negative. There is a god. Her name is Serinity. I never shot up drugs,not that I didnt do them. Just never shot up.But you know what you dont always get it that way. I realy cared about the man I got the diseas from. He liked to shoot up behind my back.

We were only together for 9months. As soon as I found the sheet of paper in his car with the H.I.V. meds on them I confronted him. He denied that it was him and disapeared off the earth. Leaving me not knowing at the time weather my daughter and I was H.I.V. positive. After having her I had inturnal bleeding and almost died. They saved me just to tell me that I was H.I.V.+ . They put me on the meds. They sugested.

I had an alergic reaction to them ,not knowing that was what it was. I lost all of my hair and broke out in huge carbunkels all over body.I was hositalized for months at a time deathly afraid of giving it to my daughter once again.
I realy thought I was dying. I stoped taking my meds. against my doctors advice and went home to let me go in peace. I all the sudden got better. The huge sores that were all over my body were going away. Once again there is a god. After going for 2months w/o any meds. I agreed to try there meds. again. I am now H.I.V.+ still(ALWAYS) but my count is so low that if I was to get tested today it would come back -. My daughter now 2 is H.I.V.-. None of the H.I.V. virous lives in her. She still is tested every 3 months just to be on the safe side. I have had A very dear friend that has helped me. He never left my side.Was never afraid of me. And is a wonderfull father to my daughter. He is my angle sent from the man upstairs. I truly belive that. We donot have an intment relationship.I have not been with anyone in 2years. Sex is not everything.
Well what I am trying to say is that it aint over till GOD says it is.
You have to realy want him in your life and you to can be spared.They read me my rites twice. Now look at me. Sure it is very lonley sexualy but thats what got me in this place I CAN LIVE WITHOUT IT.
What do you realy want in life and how bad do you want it.
Thank you for listening
We need A site to be able to talk to others like us.
It give us a way to met others like us.???? And keep us safe from the cruel world and others judgement,opions.


Sent via Email June 24, 2005 from USA.


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