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He should have told me

I dont even know were to start. I am a 25 year old mother of two small children. I am now getting divorced after only being married a year. It all started when my son and i were comming home from the park. A man came up to me and ask me the time. He was waiting for the bus. Ends up about 8 months later we start dating and the first time we have sex i get pregnate. Now I stop dating this guy, i had a bad feeling about him all of a sudden. I end up having a little baby girl. Healthy, happy and wanting to do the right thing, i start talking to her father again... Still not so sure it was the right thing. I don't listen to my heart, instead i marry him, only to find out afterwards, thaqt he was HIV positive (for the past 10 years) Now i felt so betrayed, hurt and scared to death.

What about my baby girl? What about me? What was going to happen to my son? I maen to tell you i lost it. I went and got tested right away, also got my daughter tested at 4 months old! We are both negitive at that point. So now i am struggling with the fact that this man i married did this to me on purpose.. He lied to me, he couldnt give me the chance to decide if i wanted to be with him HIV Positive or not.... He should have told me!

Now its been a year i have stuck by him, dealing with his crack addiction, his alcoholism... I have had enough. I honstly hate him now.. Not because he is HIV Postiive, but because he chooses to harm him self. He is the most selfish self distructive person i have ever seen. And maybe i am uncaring now because this has been the worst year of my life. I just want to let everyone know there are people out here who will not tell you they are HIV positive untill its to late.

Please pray for me and my children. This divorce is really hard on my son who is 4 and really thought "daddy" would always be there. My daughter is really to young to understand but she will miss him. Me on the other hand, wouldnt mind sending him to prison for attempted murder!

Yes i am a bit upset. So i need to find peace and courage to deal with the next time i have to got get rechecked. (which is in 2 weeks)


Sent via Email July 23, 2005 from Kentucky, USA.

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