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Worried and alone

Hi to everyone who reads my story. I'm a 24 year old female. Scared worried and alone. To start things off i meet this guy when i was 16 and been with him ever since. I love him more then words can say. We have a 5 year old son who is the most wounderful son.well wrong. I was never then one who drank smoked or even party. Yeah you can say i was a good girl. I started to go out when i turned 21. I got in to the drininkin and smoking.My best cousin who moved back to Texas got me in to the partin and stuff and i'm not going to lie i enjoyed it. I felt like i wanted to be free enjoy life and not be home with my family. Well we had went out to this club. This guy had came up to me he was so fine. I was nervese cause i haven't been with another guy so i was a little shy. I told i was married and he didn't mind. Everybody was like girl get that. Anyways we strated to mess around next thing i knew i had slept with him. Not once or twice but a few times. I strated to really fall for him he call me at 3 in the morning play songs for me blah blah . Anyways he had called me one night for a ride cause his brother had his truck.So me and a couple of friends went. He told me to meet hime at this house. This girl walks out and says who was i loookin for i said Carlos (named change) she said why so we stared to talk and she said that he HAS AIDS. My mouth had just hit the floor. Only one person besides my self knows i slept him. I'm scared to go get checked and i don't know what to do.This happen 3 yeasr ago and there is not one day that goes by that i don't think about it. I look at my family and and cry it's hard It haunts me everyday.I need somene to talk to. Before i loose my mind. I have a family a son who needs me. Anybody do you think i'm being wrong selfish by what i am doin. PLEASE HELP ME!


Sent via Email September 9, 2005 from Texas, USA.

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