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Please help

hello everyone.. right into my misrable story.
i have been freaking out for the past month. the last protected intercourse was on april with a person that i heard after that he is +. as i mentioned befor it was protected sex. however there was riming and oral sex involved with it. i have tested myself 3week after this exposure and the result was negative. i know it might have been too early to test myself however i have been really concern and scared about it. recently about 3 weeks or little more i met a guy and oral sex was only involved ther was absolutly no intercourse. 2 week after the latter. i have started to develop some STD symptoms. such as penis discharge. my family doctor took a swap and the result was negative. the discharge was unspecified. my story of suffering is still going on. i also had diahrea for the past 4 weeks however i found out that it was from the protien shake that i was using so i stoped using it and i got better. recently i developed shingles in my back and it,s getting worse and expanding onto my stomach only on the left side. also it,s going up to my eye led now. this weekend i went to emergency for a shortage of breath. they did x-ray. blood test. lymph tets and everything was fine. they said that the slow heart beat was because am athletic. i have not been sweating at night. no headace. no profound fatigue. non of the other hiv+ related symptoms other than. the rash( shingles).

i have been extrealy stressed foro the past month. even more.
please i need someone to help me since i cant talk to non of my family or friends. am doing my masters now, and am not perfoming will at school because am constantly thinking about having aquired HIV .... please someone help me .... my doctor told me that i cant do the tst now and i have to wait untill november.

i was thinking of getting the selftest at home .but i dont know how riability of this thing. am coming from a religouse backgroud where homosexuality is not accepted and hiv is concederd a shame. i need help . what should i do . i was thinking of travelling and just disapear from eveyone eles . or hounestlty kill myself .


Sent via Email October 14, 2005 from Toronto, Canada.

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