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The wait

Hello Everyone and may god bless you all from this terrible epidemic that we all got to fight everyday in our lives; I been very blesssed in my life i had put myself at risk plenty of time to contract the virus but now i think this is my time to face my mistakes here is my story: on saturday november fith 2005 i was feeling very lonely in my apartment in new york i had a strange feeling kind of anguish so i decided to go in the shower get dress and go out so i did i went to my friends sons birthday party and i hang out there for a while as the night went by i went to a local bar with another friend and we had a couple of beers and i when i came out there he was, he was an older man like his urly fiftees so he came and shake my hands and ask how was everything i say fine i saw the guy a couple of times at the local bar so from there we stared walking to my friends house he say he was gonna go to the other bar down the street so i say why dont you come with us to my friens apartment and he say no i dont like hangin out on people apartments so i say ok than i just go with you to the next bar so my friend said well why dont we all go to my apartment and have some beer and watch hector lavoes concert so he said i love hector lavoes he is my favor singer so we all went to the apartment and we saw the concert wich it brought tears to my eyes from my childhood he came to me and wipe my eyes and said its ok im here with you so he ask me if i want to leave i say yes plies, so we went otside and it was daylight, he ask me if i wanna to go to his place and i say yes when we got ther he gave me all the love that i was anguish for. we had sex like three times without protection so like around 3:45 am i got up to go the bathroom and he was sleeping so i look myself in the mirror and something tell me to open the med gabbinet so ther it was his comvivir med wich i know that is an hiv medication i almost fainted so i dint say anything to him but i just watch the clock slowly turning and all i was doing is praying to god to be with me at this hard moment and to tell me what to do after an hour and a half of praying i went back to sleep so i got up and got dress and say good bye to him and kiss him and say thank you for giving me what i need it and he say take care. now here i am on the waiting list to know what my status is, is a real bad feeling to have so i have to wait and see, wich i think ther is no doubt about it that i am infected but i know deeply that ther is GOD upther watching over and if its meant to be i would have to face it and be another broken soul in this earth.

 

Sent via Email November 8, 2005 from New York City, USA.

 
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