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Uplifted

Hi Im a 22 year old female and i recently found out that i have gentail herpes, I used protection and still became infected. Its sometimes difficult to think about because i never thought this would happen to me. After breaking up with my boyfriend i began to hit a really low point in my life. I felt unloved and sad most of the time. Then i tried to replace him with other people just to get that feeling of temporary love and effection. After breaking up with him i started sleeping with this guy i was with before my ex. After a while when i defintly knew it wasnt going anywhere i strayed away from him and still ended up hurting myself. Since then i slept with 2 differnt people. The very last person was a guy i met off the internet. Ive been talking to him of and on on the internet for 2 years when i was in school out of sate. After the 3rd time meeting him in person i slept with him. We werent in a relationship an i still was messin with 2 other people. then i cut everyone off but him until a childhood friend came along and i slept with him too. Almost 2 months went by without having sex and i go and sleep with the guy i met from the internet. About three days later i broke out into painful sores fever and aching all over my body. After the second outbreak the doctor said it was herpes. When i ask him about he says nothing like that has ever happened to him. But now im tryin to deal with it the best way i can. I havent been sexually active since then and really dont plan on it anytime soon. I dont know why i did the things i did when i knew they were going to hurt me. But in the end i just felt used and dirty, in my mind i really wanted us to be in a relationship but in his mind it was just sex. But what makes it hurt soo much is i let someone that doesnt even care about me affect the rest of my life like this. So i decided that no one is worth my life. I know my self esteem is low at times but i shouldnt did what i did. Also i hope parents talk to their children so they wont have these empty feelings and resort to things like sex or even drugs.
And to always keep them uplifted

 

Sent via Email November 8, 2005 from USA.

 
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