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Don't be afraid

To all of you worrying out there, DON'T. Statistically speaking, the odds are unbelievably on your side. Think of it as going to the casino and putting a chip on the roulette table, now if you select 2 numbers in a two game sequence, and on both occassions your numbers both come up, there stil exists a better chance that you would not get HIV before your 3rd number in a row appeared.

The moral of the story is, the worry is real, i know, i was there. I suffered twice, once for 6 months(because i was paralysed with fear) and another a completely irrational fear which was a latent fear from the first exposure. I am not advocating a risk free attitude, where reckless behaviour and unwise decision making becomes the norm, becuase of the relative low odds, on the contrary, protect yourself and enjoy your sexuality knowing that you can be confident you will be safe, because you are aware.

To all those worried, I fear your pain, anxiety, helplessness, restlessness, disillusionment with the world, but rest assure and i want you to rest, have faith and you will be ok. Now, faith isn't just a religious facet, although that is what kept me sane, it is also a sign that people out there are good, and sometimes in order to get through terrible ordeals we have to put faith in others, before ourselves.

One last comment on anxiety/symptoms - relationship -(I would predict a very strong correlation between the two) During my extensive worry I developed everything from thrush which wouldn't subside 7 months later, sore throats, tingling, sore muscles and a very real case of tonsillitis, which made me think i was seroconverting - 3 weeks after potential exposure.) My point is, your body is extremely powerful, it can produce chemicals which heal yourself, or if given the chance destroy your good health - through negative programming - which manifests itself in an illness we know as STRESS.
It is not worth the stress - talk to whoever you know and can trust and it will put the whole "end of the world: in perspective and remember - testing is one of the hardest things i've ever done - but you know what - if i didn't i am certain the stress would have inflicted more harm on me me sooner than any HIV virus.
Don't be afraid - know your faith and your future is in good hands.
Keep smiling - "been there, done that" guy from oz


Sent via Email November 1, 2005 from Australia.

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