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The first time

Hello, I have AIDS. It was not always easy for me to say that because of the shame that people associate with the disease. I am a 22 year old african american female who never thought that this would happen to her. The reason I am sharing my story is to help some of the teenagers who are considering sex for the first time and can't make up their mind. Here is my story. . .

When I was 15 and in high school there was this guy named Eric that I had the biggest crush on. He was a senior and played on the football team. He was just the man of my young dreams. We had often talked and became friends. I didn't think that he shared the same interest in me that I had in him although it was obvious that we were becoming close. One day we were watching tv at his house and we started kissing. This was the moment that I had been waiting for, I always wanted to kiss him. One thing led to another and we ended up having sex that night and i lost my virginity. It was protected, that night. We would eventually end up having sex five times and the last few times was unprotected. He swore to me that he loved me and that we would be together. One day while at school I saw his sister. She told me that he had met someone in college and that they were going together. This broke my heart. He had just promised me that we would be together. I didn't have sex with anyone for a while after that. By the time I was a senior in high school things were ok between us. We had became friends and of course he apologized several times, so I thought that things would just work themselves out. One day we were at his house watching a movie and he told me that he missed kissing and holding me. Against my better judgement we had unprotected sex. Something didn't seem right afterwards. He didn't act like he did before. I later found out through one of his friends that he was in jail for awhile and didn't want to tell me. We didn't talk after that night and I haven't seen him since.
Later on that year in school we were asked to donate blood. I talked to my mom about it and she said that she didn't want me to do it, but being the hard head child that I was i did anyway. My grandfather died two weeks later so my sister and i went to Louisiana for his funeral. When we got back my mom told me that someone had left a card on the front door with a smiley face saying that I needed to contact them as soon as possible. She said that they would only talk to me. So I called the number and we arranged a time to meet at the local Circuit City parking lot. When we got there the man invited us to his car so that we could talk. I thought I was in trouble for something I just didn't know what. I then told me the words that I will never forget, he said "Germani we found HIV antibodies in the blood that you donated". My heart dropped. My mom started crying before he could finish his sentence. He informed me that I needed to get tested as soon as i could. We then left. Then whole ride home was in silence. I was scared to talk.

I was 17 when i was diagnosed with HIV. Nothing in my life has been the same since. I am on meds and have been since day one. Although I struggle with them and now have developed AIDS. I have had relationships since. I am currently in one with someone who is very special to me and he understands my condition and helps me through it. But it's not easy. I get sick as shit. I HATE HAVING AIDS! It destroys who you are inside and out. So please think twice before having unprotected sex. I would hate to have to read your story on here next.
Thank you.



Sent via Email November 28, 2005 from Virginia, USA.

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