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Love

4 weeks ago I tested positive (Rememberance Day 2005 - funny that?!). I actually went for an STI check up and did not expect to hear the "HIV Positive" result. It was like a movie - a bad one! I wanted someeone to wake me up and tell me "Ha ha ha, it's a joke, I'm only joking, you're HIV negative." It didn;t happen. I was shocked, confused, angry, sad and bloody scared.

 

Now, 4 weeks on, I live with hope. I have instantly changed my diet, my ways of life. I exercise, do yoga, and eat well. I know I cannot 'cure' myself. But I do know that I can give myself a good chance. I am lucky at this stage that I do not have to go on medication. My T cell count is that of 590. However, I will not be complacent at this. Over the last month, for the first time in my life I have faced my mortality. The first time ever. IT has already been a roller coaster ride. And I know it is just the beginning. I just thank God that here in Australia we have the medications - unlike Africa. It is NOT fair that people in other countries cannot get the support that we can.

 

Anyway, life goes on. I will now love more than I ever have before.I will be more open honest and will love myself like I have never done before. Love is really what it is all about. To you who may read this and you are HIV Neg - please always take care of yourself and have protected sex. I always thought that I would be ok. It can be the one wrong descision that can change your life.

 

I am going to look for the positives about being HIV positive. LOVE is the answer I reckon.

God Bless you all and take Care.

J.

 

Sent via Email December 11,2005 from NSW, Australia.

 
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