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Three universal truths

I am firmly convinced that there are three universal truths about people. They are as follows: Everyone has demons, everyone has secrets, and everyone lies to hide those demons and protect those secrets.
I fell victim to one of my many demons and had a series of dangerous encounters that left me in the same state of panic that many other people in this forum have expressed. I live in Japan so statistically speaking the chances of getting HIV here are very very low, but very very low is still a risk, and I found myself in a world of worry.

About three weeks after one of the dangerous encounters, one of the lymph nodes in my neck swelled right up. It was like a pickle in my throat. Of course, the internet provided the answer--HIV seroconversion. OH SHIT!! I then obsessively checked my temperature and watched for other signs. I didn't help that I was on a three week business trip to Australia and New Zealand.

I then got back to Japan and fell victim to my demons again. A strange drip from the private area spurred me to go to the doctor for a checkup. Of course, the internet let me know the danger of HIV infection through STD infection. I was convinced, well at least 90% convinced that I had both HIV and an STD. So, I went to a clinic far away from my home where no one would know me. Using a false name, I got checked for the STD. A few days later, I received the result and I was fine, no STD. So, my 90% certainty of HIV infection went to about 10%. But 10% is still 10%. So, to put myself out of my misery, I went to another clinic even farther away and got the test. Luckily, there is a rapid test available here, so I knew the result in 15 minutes. It was still 15 minutes of hell. I am happy to say that I was negative.
I agree completely with what everyone else has said in this forum, GET TESTED!! Ask yourself this question, will anything really change if you get the test? If you are negative, take a good long look at why you put yourself into this position, if it is positive, you aren't going to get sick and die the next day. You have time to take action. Just pluck up the courage and do the right thing!!

Good luck


Sent via Email January 11, 2006, from Japan.

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