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Unconditional

Hey guys. First Id like to say Its not the end of the world and while no one wants to wonder what happens after this life when you think about it it dosn't have to be scary. We are spirit and energy just like nature I believe that energy is an unending cycle.

 

I tested for HIV the other day with a friend, who, I have to say is extremly bold and mature for his age (under 30) I'm 31. This friend, we met Feb. 14 (perfect) and am in love with him. Anyway I have a suspicious feeling he's HIV+/AIDS and he may have been for some time now only because he's so content is his own way. He went on the strength of me (because its been a year since I gotten tested) but I also wanted to know his status as well. Well, when it was all set and done I came out with papers (negative) and he said that since he was tested recently he'd have to wait to get tested again (of course I don't believe that) but Im not upset with him. I understand. I have herpes and have had it for over 10 years now and I remember the horror, pain, isolation, depression, and everything else I was feeling that drove me to near suiside. But, it I didn't let it consume my life.

 

Thing is, we'd both be risking alot. I have a son and who needs what I have on top of this (visa-versa). There is so much I want to say but I really have to go. I won't tell him about this message I posted but I hope he finds it (he'll know its me) and like I told him already. If he were positive not a thing would change. I would not run away. I'd be everything he needs, Ill be rigt here. but I wish you would just tell me so that I can be prepared for anything that may come up, so that you can have someone to share this with and don't have to be in the dark or alone. I want him to know that Ill be right there to wash and take care of him if I had to. I am not afraid. not of dying but not of getting this either. I won't, he won't get what I have, because I TRULLY believe Im here,and we met for a higher purpose. because its where God wanted me to be, wanted both of us to be (I believe he's working on both of us to experience the art of TRUE UNCONDITIONAL UNSELFISH love. I want to be there for him. I just wish he would tell me soo we could get past it. I do love you. and keep reading.

 

Sent via Email March 12, 2006.

 
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