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True test

I got a stupid story and also, feeliing worry too much. At the 1 time, i and my girlfriend have a very beautiful and romantic night at my 20th birthday. At my room, we drank beer and wine, talked about everything, about my future, her dreams and somethings like that. We promised we would live together until the death. And also, what done is done, we make love without any protected methods. next day, she told me the truth is that, she had many boyfriends before and already had sex with them. She said she didnt make any protection at that time, any pray me for the excuse. I felt too scared at that time. I didnt know how to solve this problem, I knew I was too stupid and just relied that, the life is very very wonderful but it would be very short with me. I intended to commit suicide if i got HIV+ from the test, createa a future with just nightmares and all of painful things. After a week of thinking too much about them, I'm exhausted and stress so much. After that, I realise that the life is still continued with me. It's just shorte than other so I need to use it as useful as i can. I wrote will and the plans for the near future. I try to finish my course from my Uni and after that, prepare for the rest in peace.

5 next months, I will have a true test about my condition. Whether the result is good or bad, I believe that God give me a life and now, he want to get it back. Just smiling in the hell and wish all of HIV patient can be contacted with the better treatment in the future.


Sent via Email July 26, 2006 from Australia.

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