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Ghost walking

I am a 30 year old male who had an unprotected sexual encounter with a girl seven weeks ago. I know the risk in my country is very low in heterosexual community but I can't help but fear. Getting tested does not scare me - If I could I would get one now but I know I have to wait the window period of 12 weeks to get a result. It is the fear of being positive that scares me the most. Since having unprotected sex I have had various symptoms - a cold, swollen sore glands in the neck, night sweats and weakness. I know I can attribute these to just having a common cold but I am so paranoid. I am not sure if my mind is making these symptoms worse. I know the only way to find out is the test but I have so long to wait and I am worried of having a nervous breakdown before then. I feel lke a ghost walking the streets. I couldn't bear to tell my parents any bad news as they have put so much love into raising me and for me to just ruin my future so stupidly would kill me. I just wanted to share this story because I live away from my family and friends and have no-one to vent to. It also encouraging to read so many other inspirational stories, positive and negative. After this experience I will be a completely different person. I will let you know what happens.


Sent via Email August 23, 2006.

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