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Comfortable

Hello. How are you? I normally read the stories on the site and decided I just had to submit my story. I am a 22 year old college student from Florida. I always have practiced safe sex since i started being sexually active 5 years ago. I never thought that I would even encounter someone who had it sexually.

Well last year I was convinced that I had hiv because I had many of partners in my past although i knew i had always been safe. So I finally got the nerve after about 2 years to go take a test at the local clinic and I also went to my primary physician to take the test. I had to wait 2 weeks for the results from both places. So i was a nervous wreck for the entire 2 weeks. I didn't know what to do with myself. I called the hotline over and over again. So this girl who worked with me told me her mother worked at the lab where I got my test and she could get the results for me after 2 days. I was kind of skeptical because I did not want my business to be out if it did come back positive. But i could not wait any longer. So i asked her to check with her mom on the 2nd day and she said that her mom said it was not in yet. So i was really nervous because I know it takes longer if they get a positive on the ELISA test which is the preliminary test. So i waited another day and hardly got any sleep. So the next day she called her mother again and her mother told her that she could not tell me what the result was because she might get in trouble and told me to call my doctor ASAP.
So at that point I knew i was positive and I just cried and cried and prayed and cried some more. I told my close friends about it and he told me something didn't seem to add up because if it was positive the doctor's office would have called me in. But i just knew it was positive.

Now keep in mind that i had just started having a sexual relationship with a guy, because I'm bisexual, two months prior to me taking my test. I did not let him know what was going on and I was just not going to talk to him anymore at all because I was too ashamed. So later on that night the girl who got the results for me called me and we chatted and I told her how upset I was and thought my life was over and she asked me why. And I said because your mom said the test was positive. She said she was going to call me back. So she called me back about 15 minutes later and said that her mother said she would tell me but i had to promise that I would not let anyone know she told me. But a part of my hepatitis test came back positive. So i said the HIV test was not positive and she said No way it was negative. I didn't care about the hepatitis at that point. My whole world just changed then. I started thanking God and crying and praying. I was so happy. I knew that all my efforts I took to stay negative worked. I consulted with the doctor and he said I must have came in contact with the Hepatitis but my body fought it off. So i finally told my partner what was going on and he was happy. So i told him it was only right for him to take the test. he said he would but he was sure that he was not positive because he only had unprotected sex a few times and never gets sick.

 

So on March 2nd, he went in for a rapid test and I went with him. i sat in the lobby while he went for the 20 minute test. After about 30 minutes I texted him and asked what was taking so long and he said he had to take the test again. So i went back with him and asked him was the first one positive and he said yes but it could be false. So he took another one and it was positive again. I was in total shock. I liked him so much but did not know how to handle it. He was so afraid that I was going to leave him. The counselor said that we should not break up over this and we could work through this as long as we both continued to only have safe sex, meaning condoms for every single act. For a few weeks i was convinced that I was not gonna go through with it because I was too afraid. But I liked him so much. So I started researching the disease and I went to his first doctors appointment with him. We found out that he is doing great. His CD4 is at 750 and his VL is 71 without any medication which is almost undetectable. The doctor says he will most likely not need any medication for a long time. I felt MUCH better after that appointment and so did he. I found out that two people of different statuses could be happy together! I decided that I was gonna go for it. We have been together now for about 8 months and we are happy. We go through our trials and tribulations just like any couple. Somehow i feel more comfortable being with him knowing he has this disease than being with someone who doesn't because I might get comfortable with them and decide not to use protction all the time and they end up giving it to me. So its funny how situations turn out. I found out that I have a best friend who is also HIV positive and has been for 7 years and he is doing GREAT. Both of them get sick less often than I do. So I would say if your positive keep praying because a CURE is coming and if you want to be here for it you need to make sure you love and stay stress free and takes care of yourself

 

Sent via Email September 29, 2006 from Florida, USA.

 
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