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My mind

Like many of the other stories I have read on this site - I too have been lucky and my HIV test was negative (at 2 weeks, 7 weeks and 12 weeks)...You too are most likely HIV +If you have not yet been tested then get to it, the worry isn't worth it.

Anyway - let me tell you what happened...I had unprotected sex with a sex-worker and developed some STD symptoms a few days later. Nothing showed up in a test but still I worried about the horror of what I might have...Due to the worry I got a bad case of tonsillitis and had a cold sore outbreak on my face (I didn't know I had this previously and didn't kiss the sex worker). For these problems and the suspected STD I ended up taking numerous courses of antibiotics and this led to oral thrush...I think you can see where this is going if like me you too have self-diagnosed HIV from Web info.

I was deeply depressed and had deep feelings of guilt as I have a partner that I have been seeing for the past 5 years...I told her I have a bladder infection and started using condoms but she knew something was wrong...We went on a 4-week vacation to see her family (in Europe) and it was hell - I could barely drag myself out of bed to enjoy their company and my glands started to swell up like a balloon.

 

When I got back to Australia I had a blood test and it indicated that I had CMV (cytomegalovirus). This is normally a virus that goes unnoticed in healthy people but can be a problem in people with HIV...I decided that I have HIV and went to get a blood test at 7 weeks to prove it...It was negative! The doctor indicated that their practise diagnoses most HIV +ve people in Australia and he had never seen a case where someone -ve at 7 weeks later turned out to be +ve. He said that tests these days are very sensitive, so I took a lot of comfort from this. Some other things I took comfort from ˆ even if you have sex with someone that is HIV +ve it is still very difficult to catch it also my doctor said that 50% of the people he sees end up having nothing and the other 50% mostly have treatable STDs.

 

Our mind is a very powerful thing and can lead to HIV-like symptoms due to the negative immune response caused by the fear, guilt and depression that comes with the possibility. The fact that I had all the symptoms and was +ve means that my mind has played the biggest part in this drama.

I now plan to do some volunteer work with an AIDS organisation in Australia.

 

Sent via Email November 16, 2006 from Australia.

 
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