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Empowering

I didn't think I'd ever be posting a story of my own but after reading all of these empowering stories, I feel that I should share to anyone who felt how i felt or is doing exactly what I did do this very moment. I am 19 years old, and I have slept with about 20 people. I cringe at even typing this. I was very insecure and promiscuous. Most of these encounters where unprotected and drunken. I had recenelty tested positive for high risk hpv but hadn;t gotten an hiv test. Still it didnt bother me until one day, out of nowhere i was slammed with a painful headache and had the worst case of chills ive ever head, with night sweats and all. I became paranoid, and started to look up causes of these symptoms. I came across hiv, and all of a sudden, i felt horrible. I had been getting colds and sorethroats almost every other week and i felt really tired.I became convinced this is what i had since i had slept with so many people. And even worse, i had a serious boyfriend who i love very much. Being with him made me change many of my unsafe ways. I was so scared I had infected him. I kept thinking about my family, my boyfriend, and where my life would go. I got tested, and i couldnt stop thinking the whole time what my results would be. I pictured them telling me i was positive, but i also kept telling myself i wouldnt have hiv. Its horrible, the anxiety of not knowing. However, i recieved my result that i was hiv negative today and i feel extremely relieved and a new sense of strength. I know that i wont ever have unprotected sex with someone unless they are tested and i have proof. life is so precious, and i hope that whoever you are reading this, if youre scared, take comfort in the fact that no matter what, knowing is better than not knowing and God will protect in love you if you only open our heart and ask. I love you, and i hope you are wiser because of this. stay safe. Everything will be okay.

 

Sent via Email December 5, 2006 from Florida, USA.
 
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