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Worried

Hi everybody,

I need somebody understanding to talk to. I am a 21 year old female, and I have been in a good relationship with my boyfriend for about 2.5 years. He is the same age as I and had never been in a serious relationship with anybody before me, so I took his virginity. Anyway, I have always donated blood and everything and have always been clean, though I had a run-in with chlamydia when from my ex when I was 16. Well, a couple of months ago, I began training a beautiful 19 year old guy at my job, and we instantly connected - he has a great fun personality. At the time I was having issues with my boyfriend, and I ended up going out with that friend from work. After a few times of meeting at the park to chill or at his house, we had unprotected sex, on two occasions. I have always been a hypochondriac and so I worry about everything, and I have since then been chastising myself for doing something so foolish. I have had sex with my boyfriend since then, and I feel really bad and guilty because even though I don't feel sick or anything, that nagging fear is always still there. At the time, I thought I had serious feelings for this new guy or I wouldn't have done it in the first damn place, and we are still friends, but I have asked him a couple of times about his sexual history and he never answers me definitely or clearly. He says he's only been with like three people and has never been sick at all. He's so immature, I see that now, and I see that he didn't have the same feelings for me anyway. I don't know what the hell I expected anyway, it's not like I really would have left my boyfriend for him, because I love my man. Though this guy and I are still friends,I no longer have the desire to be intimate with him and I won't do it again. Since then I treasure my relationship with my boyfriend and have been praying that there is nothing wrong with me. What really scares me is the possibility that I could have given something to him. I love him so much with all of my heart, though we have our disagreements he is so perfect, and I know that if this happened I would have to tell him the truth and he would never forgive me and never speak to me again. This would break my heart in two. About a week or so after sleeping with the friend from work, I got a massive sinus infection which moved from my head to my throat to my lungs, I coughed for like a week or so and had flem for 2 or three weeks and fever one night and felt really rotten. However, this was right when the weather started to change and alot of other people at my job and college were sick too, so it could have been just that. I feel fine physically, but the mental worry and anguish is still there. It was a little over a month ago when I slept with the guy and I know it can take up to 6 months for the HIV antibodies to show up, so I dread the hypochondritic wait. I just need someone sympathetic to talk to.

Thank you for listening and lending your thoughts.
Lorena

 

Sent via Email December 12, 2006 from Houston, Texas, USA.

 
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