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Hi, I am a 41yr old Pos professional guy. I meet this wonderful man. We spoke about unsafe sex,he told me he was Neg as he had just been tested. He also said he would never infect anyone anyways. Hence we had unsafe sex. 4months later we planned on our first holiday together. We were all set when I fell ill, becuase I work in the health care area. I just thought I had picked something up from work. Still feeling unwell we went on our overseas holiday. 3 days into the holiday, I got a phone call from Australia. it was my partners ex, he was drunk and saying has he told you he is Hiv Pos. I was angry and thought this guy is trying to destory our holiday. I spoke to my partner who said it was all lies. If I was concerned both of us would get tested when we back to Australia. On our return I went off and got tested, when it was time to get the results my partner decided he needed some time away. So he went away for the weekend while I went into the doctor.


I walked in sat down and asked him what sought of day he was having, he replied "I hate giving bad news". On that I replied " the poor guys" He looked at me put his hand on my knee and without saying a word I knew it was me. I sat in a state of shock. All I kept saying was it is not true, my partner is Neg and I have not had sex or unsafe sex with anyone else. When my partner finally answered the phone which was the next evening he said " I am coming home now, it will be ok". When he walked in the door I was just sitting crying and making no sense. He kept saying " It is ok I am here for you, we can get through this".


It turns out that he tested Pos in Dec of the previous year. I stayed with me. I loved him, how could you love a guy that has done this to you so many people have asked me? I just keep saying because I love him so much. I have tried to kill myself a number of times. Mainly becuase I could not face the fact of being Pos. But have never blamed him for it.

He has never said sorry to me, but tells our friends that he is sorry and will maike sure I get through this.

Now 2.5yrs on we have broken up and I am alone. I still love him and would take him back at the drop of a hat. But at the same time feel I should go to the police and stop him from doing it to someone else. I would not want another person to go through what I have been going through.


I have very supportive friends, who do not judge me for still loving him. One asked do you love him or are you in love with him. Well I guess it is a case of both.


I will always love him, I have a reminder twice a day that he was a part of my life. That is every day I take my medications.


Sent via Email December 30, 2006 from Sydney, Australia.

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