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A story worth the words

Well! I am a 40 year old divorced male and I have a 20 year old boy friend and we have been dating for about 7 months. We haven't made any real serious commitments to monogamy with each other in words per say but the personal commitment and desire for each other has made this an unwritten commitment that we have both stood by since the beginning.

He (my partner) is one of the most charismatic and positive guys that I have ever met in his age range. He loves my two kid's 11-12 boy and girl and gets along with my ex real well. So you might say "when is this gona end?" and so out of fear of loosing what I have for the moment I haven't said those three words that everyone expects to here, but I'll tell you what! I don't think that they have to be said if you feel it inside and show it in what you do for and with each other. My ex and I said it all the time and look where we ended up, but we two Leo's, Hugh yea! You get the story there, but she is to this day the only woman I could love as much as I do, now it‚s a mans turn to have equal love.

 

Now here is the hard part, he has only been with one other guy, he's Mormon, and he has great ambitions for his future and wants to be a vet or high school history teacher. I have been hospitalized three times in the three years I have been her in Arizona and lost a kidney, had back surgery, had a pin put in my hand due to a dog fight and was just getting ready for a great new year with him with no troubles to start the year, well expect for the pin in the hand thing.

 

He (my partner) was tested before we got together and was clean. Now! He go's in for a routine check up and physical, he doesn't really like doctors anyway but I talked him into it just for sanity's sake and he was told that he is HIV+. He called me crying and told me the news and my heart just sank, he had told me that they wanted him to get some more test done and they took more blood and we are waiting on the results to find out the severity, but all he has been told so far is it came on about 7 months ago.

 

Now! Imaging how I felt? Did I have it and give it to him? Just what was the deal? I was hospitalized three timed and never was anything said in all those blood test I had, did they miss something? Well I ran down to my doctor in less then an hour and was tested myself and at that time I was just freaking out, for the both of us. I thought, hmm, did I kill my own dreams by infecting him? After all he is only 20 and that's why I chose someone of his caliber to be safe and have no worries and live a nice long life together without any chances of this. But little did he know shortly before him and his ex broke it off his ex was out there servicing the world in a drunken state with no cares in the world, till he found out then he was out of there and that's where I came in, he was what I was waiting for 4-1/2 years for since my divorce.

 

He had found out on Tuesday and its now Saturday and Thursday I got the call all was good with me, so I called him with the news and I really didn't want to tell him with joy and happiness but he received the news and was so very happy and relieved for me and I had felt a sadness come over me that was very un-understanding to me.

 

Now! I would like to just have my way with his ex if you know what I mean? After all I can't say it here, but one thing I know is, I tested clean and he "the ex" really ruined our future, well so to speak. But all my partner can say is "just leave him alone" and my response was "are you freaking kidding me you're ex just changed your quality of life for ever".

Let me tell you that would not be my out look at all if the tables were turned. But that is just how charismatic and positive this man of mine is. Tell me just how lucky I am.

 

Now here is the silver lining. I plan on staying with him, loving him and caring for him and getting his and or our treatment started ASAP. I am taking him to Hawaii for his 21st B-day and we have many plans for the future despite this. We will be working on the fight against HIV/Aids, after all I am not out of the woods yet, and periodic test will tell the future for me and I have been a supporter of the cure in the past as well as now.

There is so much more to tell but you get the gist of it.

Love is Love straight or gay, support it and spread it. Love is all we really have. Peace out

Johnny

 

Sent via Email January 28, 2007 from Arizona, USA.

 
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