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Never give up

Hey all I am a 25 y/o all-American white male who just found out 3 days ago that I have HIV... Im very close with my family so I didnt hesitate to tell my parents immediately which has really helped me in this initial stage. I went home this weekened to explain everything to my parents while I tried to stay strong watching them break down with tears flying. It was tough but they came around quickly to be great support now and always.

 

I know I caught this virus through unprotected sex with another man... Im into both men and women and I knew my lifestyle had some risk. I got tested every couple weeks because I became paranoid of not knowing. I actually studied hiv/aids on different occasions before I was diagnosed preparing myself just in case I became positive... but never thinking it would actually happen. So, yes, it was a big shock for me and still is a little bit. I guess I was in denial about my life choices and continued doing something I knew I didnt truely believe in... I mean everytime I hooked up I had to be high on some sort of drug... that cant be a good thing. The whole drug/sex scene was fascinating to me and I was sucked in by people I trusted... when really I should have trusted myself and what I knew was right and wrong. I cant blame anyone but myself.

 

So whats next?... I know it may not be easy at times but I also know im not going to let something like this take control of my life... Im going to beat this. My goal is to find as much information as possible and continue to learn and grow. I believe it will make me a better person. I am very goal-oriented and sports minded... I have a "never give up" attitude. Ive been through a devastating illness before so its almost like my body has been groomed for this precarious road... Ive had full body paralysis and pneumonia amongst other things... ive beaten all of them... and I know its a result of TRUELY BELIEVING I will get through this. I am a positive person and not afraid of my positive status. So my sister asked me today if I felt "scared"... I said "no, not really... im aware of what people think they know but only God himself chooses the end to my story and I plan on helping him write that happy ending." Amen!

Stay strong with the mind everyone "Never give up!"... your stories have inspired me. Thank you.

 

Sent via Email February 18, 2007 from USA.

 
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