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Responsibility

Even though for the past 6 years I have been in two very monogomous and committed relationships, I had many risky encounters before that, mostly either on drugs or drunk! I am so ashamed to admit it, but it is in my past and a part of who I am/was. Recently my past came back to haunt me. I had convinced myself that I was HIV positive, I mean I had to be, with all the men I had slept with unprotected. I was so scared to take the test, because I just couldnt face the reality of the result, which I was convinced would be HIV+. But lately the anxiety just overwhelmed me and I was not enjoying life anymore, I was depressed and didn't think I had much to live for. Every rash or sore throat I got convinced me even more that I was positive. This week I just decided to take responsibility for my actions and take the test and know my status once and for all. It would be irresponsible of me to carry on in such an ignorant manner. I cannot just deny it, I took risks and I had to get tested. I live in Africa, where every day you are reminded of the epedemic in our country. I cannot be a fool to ignore its existance and my possible exposure to it. I took the test and could barely sleep last night, when I went to get the results they came back Negative, I could hardly believe it! I am so happy, I feel I have my whole life back, that I have so much to live for. Please, please go and get tested. You have to take responsibility for your actions. Do it not only for yourself, but for those around you, please get tested!!!

 

Sent via Email August 17, 2007 from South Africa.

 

 
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