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Stigma

IM 21 yrs old

i wish to relate my story to u so that i can start to get some answers if u but help.

i am a God fearing person; i have a lot of friends and a lot of people admire and look up to me. i am not sexually active, have never had penetrated sex before and don't have any intentions in the near future. However despite all of that i believe that i may be Hiv positive.

 

The reason being that from as early as 15 yrs i have been observing some signs and symptoms that are related to an hiv infected person and even though i try to deny my thoughts it has become even clearer to me since i lost about 15 lbs within the last year.

 

i had an uncle who died from the disease that i took care of and from the knowledge that i have i dont want to believe that he was the cause for my supposed infection. Appart from his involvement; at age 13 a young man(18) tried to have sex with me; our sexual organs came together but i got affraid and immediately refused to go ahead with the act. Today im wondering if that may be the cause for this feeling and more so im affraid of taking Any blood test because of the fear of stigmatization which is vastly growing in my country.

 

i am presently trying to take care of myself; though it is hard to do so. i try to eat well and exercise though i know that the disease is still present and working.

 

They say that the only way to know is to have a test, but i strongly believe though i wish i wouldnt that i have the virus and if i truely confirm it i probably may die faster. i thought about doing it privately but the money is too much and there is always someone around to scandle you so i dont wanna take any chances.

 

Sent via Email October 13, 2007 from Guyana.

 
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