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Nervous wreck

its 12:30 (noon) im sitting on my bed tying my shoelace and im wondering should i take my new suzuki bike to the hospital or use the subway? screw it!! feel too weak and faint hearted to be moving at high speed, grab my bus and subway pass, check myself in the mirror, try a smile, but all i see is a nrevous wreck!


its nov. 13 2007, a young black-african male is headed to collect his hiv/aids results! takes a lifetime to reach the damned place, my palms are sweaty my head is swirling, reach the entrance, sliding doors open,make my way to the reception, a stern faced nurse is lookin my way, i hand her my reciept/invoice,s he reaches to her far left, brings out a book with HIV's printed on it, (hearts past racing now, its abandoned me with my soul), she hands me a slip, all i see is russian language, can't understand a word ,i can only see the big bright red stamp on it printed HIV! oh GOD no,i feel my legs disintegrating, im just standing there about to have a heart attack, then suddenly the nurse says "not positive", i quickly look up and she says it again "not positive, your okay" (the only verbal communication since i walked in, and she said it in english) she stands up and shows be where its written in russian language on my slip... A second chance. Thankyou God!

my heart goes out to the people that have been infected by hiv, il keep you in my prayers. To those lucky enough to have been negative, be wise now! To those that are still deciding whether or not to be tested, just go ahead and do it, im sure it will lift alot of weight of your shoulders..neg or pos.


Carolena thankyou for making this site it has saved many lives and for sure mine..carolena you might not know it yet but your truly a heavan sent angel. love you and god bless you all.


Sent via Email November 14, 2007 from Moscow, Russia.

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