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Knowing

After reading some of these stories, I thought I'd share my experience regarding an HIV scare.

First of all, I'm a hypochondriac. Because of this trait, however, I prided myself in knowing the signs, symptoms, and ways to get various diseases (including STDs and of course, HIV/AIDS).

 

Anyway, fastforward to Dec. 2006. I was 18, a senior in HS and a virgin; I wanted to start being sexually active without being in a serious relationship. That was when I start getting IMs from this guy who'd graduated the year before. I thought it was perfect. He was supposedly a player, but I also knew him to be very careful - he never put himself in serious risk, almost selfishly responsible when it came to his own health. I made the decision to meet up with him - no sex, I gave him head and he fingered/ate me out. We met up several times, had unprotected oral sex, but never proceeded to actual sex because I had to be back home before my parents missed me. It was fun, and I thought nothing else of it.

 

I didn't see him after that because he went to a college in the east coast. I went back to my ordinary life, and donated blood like I routinely do every 8 weeks in Jan, Mar, and May. They never said anything at the Bloodsource, and I didn't expect them to. Then, I started feeling sick overall in July, during the summer. Headaches, stomachaches, feeling feverish, etc. A yeast infection. I check online. That was when I suddenly though, "Was he really clean?" I couldn't ask my parents to take me to the doctor because I wasn't seriously sick, and couldn't tell them what I'd done. They're conservative Asian parents and always told me to save myself for marriage.

 

I worried and worried myself sick for the next two months, unable to confide in anyone. I knew the health center at the college I was going to did anonymous HIV testing, so I waited and went there the moment they opened in October. I sat there in complete agony for 20 minutes, amongst other nervous faces.

 

I was negative. Imagine my relief after those excruciatingly nerve-wracking months. It was 10 months since my exposure so I'm pretty sure I'm good to go. I also went to a gyno, and I'm completely clean of other STDs as well.

I just want to say though, get tested. I still occasionally question the results because I just can't let it go (after months of worrying on and off everyday, it's now always in the back of my mind) but it's worlds better knowing, than having panic attacks from fear of uncertainty.

 

Sent via Email December 3, 2007 from California, USA.
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