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Expressing feelings

Hi, my name is Tom. I am married with one child. I'm really happy to find this site in the internet and to express our feelings and emotions with regards to HIV/AIDS which we are all aware of as the "deadly virus".


Couple of weeks ago I went out clubbing. Upon my way home fully drunk and trying to look for a cab in the middle of a dark street, I saw a woman from the other side of the road walking towards where I am standing. As she moves closer, she grabbed my hand and said that she wants to have sexual intercourse. With no other options (since I was drunk), we ended up having sexual intercourse.


After two weeks, I started to feel the HIV symptons. I cant keep it to myself so I decided to tell my wife because I was not been able to sleep at night. My wife was able to accept me after I told her what happened (because she is a true Christian) and I promise her that I will not do it again and will remain faithful to her as long as we live on this earth.


However, I havent taken any blood test yet to prove that I'm really HIV positive but the fact remains that all the symptoms for HIV that I discovered in the internet is currently what I am experiencing now. This is what I'm really scared about. I started to think of my family, my career, my responsibility as a father and husband, etc, etc, etc... It seems like that there is no more hope and I started to build a spirit of self condemnation within me.


My wife didn't lose her hope and faith so we started praying and fasting believing in our Christian faith that Jesus will heal me and all the blood test that I will undertake will all turnout negative. What I'm currently facing has really changed my life. It has made me to repent and to start a new and fresh relationship again with our Lord Jesus Christ.


Sent via Email June 23, 2008 from Fiji.


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