Sailor

Well, than it is me.

I used to be a sailor, sailing from port to port, and it unfortunately happened that we got drunk and ended up in brothels. I was always very careful using condoms, and the CSW's always insisted on condom use. Well, I got tested abt 4 weeks after the last exposure, and I tested negative, and than I met my wonderful girlfriend. We are getting married now and everything is good.

However 6 weeks after my last encounter with CSW's I got the flu- maybe for four days, and of course I know that this was ARS, but I never deared to go tested again, because of my anxiety.

Will get tested the 10th of march, since I know I cannot enter holy matrimony with this decease, and it will be horror to wait result. I will definevely comit suicide if I am testing positive, cause I cannot live with myself knowing I infected my beloved girlfriend.

Btw- 8 years since last encounter, feeling very healthy.

Please give me some comfort..I need it, as I am surfing HIV pages 24/7, can't focus on work, and in general feel afraid and ashamed.

I am a nice person, with a lot of humor, but I cannot accept giving this decease to my sweet,sweet g/f. I am so depressed....

Sent via Email March 2, 2008 from Norway.