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This is the story of my life

I am not infected, yet AIDS has greatly affected my life. Each day that passes it hits me that my life would have been a little more fulfilling than it is right now if the rich relationships i had with certain people were still around. This is the story of my life:

I was doing my last semester in college when i decided to join my sister and brother in another town for christmas holidays and also for her wedding, it was bonus! Before then, i had heard my brother hadnt been feeling too well, he'd call and tell me it was prostate cancer but it had cleared recently. I believed him, after all, my grandad had it and is now ok, my mom on the other hand died of lung cancer many years ago, it scared me a little but i'd push it to the back of my head, the truth was too hard to stomach.


I arrived home, seing my handsome brother's life had deteorated so fast, anyone could read the thoughts in my head. I was told he was actually feeling and looking better, again, no need to stress i thought to myself. Deep down though, I wanted to ask my sister if anyone had considered having him tested but i was too afraid if the results came out positive. However, after some months my sister and i slowly started talking about the possibility of him being positive. He practically made it impossible to see a medical doctor.


Sadly in 2007, his heart of gold stopped and feelings of guilty started in me, especially that this time around, i had started working in a hospital and i have seen how manageable this disease is. Patients are brought on wheelchairs, they walk out of this hospital being helped, two months or so down the line, they come in unaided for their appointments: positive and living positive. Each time i see such a one, my heart is glad this patient has got his/her life back. Unfortunately, something is always tagging at the core of my heart ' its not so easy, but your brother's life would have been different if you and him had accepted the reality of AIDS in your lives, not just in other's.'


We should all live positive when things look bleak in the advent of the pandemic, you just never know how much people need you around irrespective of your status.


Sent via Email December 2, 2008 from Zambia.


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