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Teen

my name is tah i want to write about my story
i am 17 years old. i lost my virginity at the age of 15 to a guy who was older than me and who i really loved.we had unprotected sex and protected sex but had never thought about contracting a disease just getting pregnant. after the year it had took me to get over him everything had went downhill..i started looking for love in just about every guy i meet. basically all of the guys i had sex with was unprotected. i have had sex with 12 guys and it just disgusts me. out of those 12 its 9 that i have had unprotected sex with. sometime i just really wish i would have waited or have had a father figure in my life who was there for me..maybe i would not have been lookin for love in all these different guys..anyways i just got tested about 2 weeks ago and in this whole process i have found out that i contracted trich and chlaymydia. i cried so much and was so scared...i get my hiv results back next week..its like i pray to god all the time that i test negative but i feel like i mi
ght have hiv..before i had got tested i know i had needed to change how promiscuous i was it has been bothering me so much..some nights i just sit up and think about all the guys who just used me for my body and i cry..i find myself always crying not just that i might be hiv positive but that i let my body and my self go. i have someone in my life who really loves and cares about me. if i am hiv positive i have infected him and i cant live with that. i am so stupid when it comes to letting guys talk me into doing things i know isnt right. im calling out to god to give me 1 more chance im trying to keep faith but how could i when i feel symptoms of hiv..im so scared and worried..i dont know if i can go on.

 

Sent via Email December 12, 2008 from USA.

 
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