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Hello, I am a 23 year old female.
I lost my virginity at 18 to someone I considered a very good friend, we developed into more than just friends and our relationship lasted for 4 and a half years. During this period I got pregnant once and had an abortion. After that everything went down hill, I found out I had HPV; two years later on my 21st birthday he gave me Herpes; then on my 22nd birthday I had enough.... He lied to me and we broke up. We slept together a few times after that and I got trich... twice.

I had never gotten tested up until then, I guess I didn't see where I had to being that I had only been with one guy. Well, my second time getting trich was the point when I said I had enough!!!! I was sure I didn't want to be with him anymore.
In the meantime, there were plenty guys who were interested. Two of whom I was pretty close with... not sexually, but they knew of my Herpes and one really broke it down to me explaining my high value as a great woman even with herpes and he really wanted to be with me, but wanted me to get tested. I thought about getting tested not because I wanted to be with him, but because I wanted to know.


So I took the test. I went back for the results and it was always the wrong timing or something was always wrong. I concluded that since I wasn't contacted... I should be fine, if I had anything they would call me. Well, they did, it took them 3 months but I received that phone call. I will NEVER forget what I experienced for about 15 minutes after that phone call. I walked to my car and drove to the office. It was the longest 15 minutes of my life. On my way I thought about my nieces and nephews whom I loved so dearly... my mother who is my best friend... my grandparents who would be
sooo hurt if I was sick... my career that I am pursuing... my friends who adores me... my sisters... oh my God, my sisters... we have talked about HAVING TO DIE TOGETHER because we can't live without eachother. I felt like I had conquered too much in my life to be defeated like this. DANG..... why am I so unlucky?


I remembered asking God to spare me this one time... please GOD... I am a good person... I thought to call my ex and curse him out. Then I looked at my gas gauge and saw that I had enough gas to make it to where he lives... I remembered the code to get into his house and I knew where he kept his 9mm. I had been the understanding girl all along, never did anything wrong... but he didn't have to do me like this.


When I pulled up outside the office, I began crying and prayed about the evil thoughts I had prior about outing him... at the end of the day, I made my own decision... I knew better. I went into the office and the guy came to me asked my name, took me to a room in the back, closed the door, started ripping papers and rearranging my folder. I sat there in suspense... then he said... "you can relax... your test is negative".


I didn't know how to feel at that point. Should I be happy that I didn't have HIV, well of course... but I saw it differently... there are plenty people that did exactly like I did and caught it, so many girls had sex for the first time and caught it... some people used condoms religiously and one broke on them. It's so interesting that this disease has no face... really no STD does. We just have to be careful and even that isn't enough. What else is there to do? One suggestion is to get tested to know your status and if you are positive... it is our responsibility to be honest; it is the humane thing to do. Honestly goes a very long way; I have realized that with my Herpes situation. I have weeded out a lot of men by being honest. Only God knows how liberating it is to know that I don't have to hide behind letters (HSV). No one does... and we definitely should not discriminate... it can happen to ANY of US.


I am an aspiring health care provider and I will be specializing in HIV/AIDS treatment because it is a very serious condition that many people don't understand, usually until they are directly affected by it.


Sent via Email February 6, 2008 from Florida, USA.


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