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Far from the truth

I would love to say that I have only had sex unprotected with one person unprotected but that is far from the truth. I am a 23 year old girl from Washington who has been paralyzingly terrified that I am HIV positive for the last 3 weeks. I should have had this fear a long time ago but didn't.

 

Here's my story: kind of long! Lost my virginity at age 16 the only thing I really ever even thought about getting was pregnant cause I was immune to STDs (so I thought). I didn't respect my body at all and drank heavily, had multiple partners before I found out I had HPV. I didn't really understand what that was I only knew that I could get cervical cancer from it (didn't comprehend that it was the virus that causes genital warts, eventually the outbreak came). Still didn't use protection with everyone. Found out I had Chlamydia went to the health department to get treated for that and while I was there I got tested for HIV. I never went back for the results even after they sent me a certified letter in the mail. I had been going to my family doctor so I didn't think I had anything to worry about but I was never tested for HIV at my family doctor. But in the back of my mind that letter has been haunting me.

 

About three weeks ago I got a yeast infection, only the second one in my life. I was reading the pamphlet and it said you would be more prone to that infection if you were HIV positive. This sent me in to a panic attack. For the next week all I did was read up on symptoms and statistics. I can honestly say I've had every single symptom at some point since that last HIV test when I was 17. I ordered an at home HIV test it took over a week to get to my house. During that week I was still obsessing. I took the test a week ago yesterday and sent it in the following day. They said the results would be available with in 3 business days. I finally found the courage to call today results are negative. I feel like god has truly given me a second chance to change my ways. If I would have been positive my best friend would have been as well and the guilt that would have caused me would be unbearable.

 

Through my research over the last few weeks I have gained so much respect for the people living with this disease. The strength that it takes to have a voice is amazing. This site was the reason I got tested reading everyone's stories positive or negative made me realize I wasn't the only one with fear, but the real lesson was to love yourself wrap it!!!! Any man that will have unprotected sex with me is having unprotected sex with everyone else they are sleeping with!

 

Sent via Email February 14, 2008 from Washington State, USA.

 

 
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