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Forgive me

I was inspired by some of the stories I read. My story is a horrible one. You see I am a lady of 50 years old and married with four children. I am even ashemed of myself to say this but I have to tell you my story. My marriage was a nightmare. My husband was very cruel and never supported the kids and myself. He used to drink a lot and sometimes used abusive language to us. He would come home late in the night and tell you where he was with a girlfriend, and he would sing a song about it.


So I found someone who was and still is very understanding who supported me financially. We really get along. So when he went out of the country for studies I asked him if he knew his status, if he has been tested for the HIV before. I think he quickly went and tested and found out he was HIV positive. So what he did was, he wrote me a letter asking me to go and get tested, because he said if I take long I might get sick or something like that. I had a feeling that he was trying to tell me that he was positive. During that week I went to have my blood tested and found out that i was positive.


I phone him crying and he was comforting and he even promised that he will be with me forever. We are still together. Sometimes I feel like leaving him but I am scared to that. As for my husband, I stopped sleeping with him without a condom. Because I don't want to add what I have on what he already have. The problem is, I don't know if he is the one who infected me or not. Whether he is positive or not.


If God can forgive me but he is the one who caused this. He is out of employment and I am taking care of him. I feel sorry for him now but he started.


Sent via Email April 28, 2008 from Zimbabwe.


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