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I lost two years

For nearly 2 years I lived with the fear that I might be HIV positive. I had a swollen gland in my neck. Dry cough and diarrhea. Rashes and fevers and a bout with low white cells.

Even with all of these symptoms I was too afraid to get tested until the fear that I had been paralyzed with for so long took over and I could no longer take it. At first I went to my doctors office and she gave me a slip to take to a lab and the results would be back in 5 days. That was too long for me. I needed to know right at that moment!! So the next morning I got up and went to the Health Dept. in my city where they do rapid HIV testing. I felt numb and the technician pricked my finger and drew my blood. I had convinced myself that I was positive a long time ago and that this was the day that it was confirmed. In less that 20 minutes my fate was told to me by an HIV counselor with the most stern look on her face.


This was truly the first time in my life that I cried tears of joy. This was by far the most amazing moment of my life!! But that happiness was shortfelt by fear that maybe my results were switched or that something was done wrong so I went to another facility and recieved the same results!

I guess my story is more about letting fear take control over your life. I was scared to death to hear that I had this disease so much that I convinced myself that I had it and didnt get tested so it wouldnt be confirmed. I lost 2 years of my life because of this.



Sent via Email June 24, 2009 from Detroit, USA.


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