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Taking off the condom

Ladies, you have to be careful!

I am posting my story in hopes of giving women the courage to get tested. I put off testing for almost 2 years because I was scared of the results I would get back. I know its very easy to tell someone not to worry and "just to get tested" or "knowing is better than not knowing"...that advice is given all the time, but its needs to be applied! If you haven't gotten tested for HIV, especially if you think you may have it, you should really get tested ASAP. I am totally not trying to come off as cold, but if you're HIV positive, then you are HIV positive. If you're HIV negative, then you are HIV negative. Getting tested will not change your status, why hold off on getting tested? If the results show that your positive, you can start taking the right steps to improve your health and if the results show that your negative, you can continue or start taking the steps to prevent yourself from being exposed to HIV.

With that being said, I would like to share my story. I was 21 years old and it was summer 2007. I had just met this guy who I thought wasgreat. He had a job as a bus driver, his own vehicle and he owned a house. Not to mention, we seemed to connect really well. He told me that he was 26, didn't have any kids and wasn't married. After spending a lot of time together and getting to know each other, he initiated sex with me. I agreed. I know the decision was wrong, but I agreed. I was under the impression that he wore a condom because I saw him put it on and I felt for it throughout the ntercourse. All of a sudden he stopped and I thought nothing of it. It wasn't until the end of the month, that I found out I was 4 weeks pregnant. This guy had taken off the condom before he ejaculated and I believe he wanted to get me pregnant. PRIOR to me finding out I was pregnant, this guy still spent time with me as if he did nothing wrong. I am SURE he knew exactly what he did! One day, a female showed up at his house and went nuts because I was there. I had no idea that he even had a girlfriend but it was obvious he did. I began to leave and she told me I wasn't going anywhere, she pulled out a knife (stabbed him) and she told me that he had HIV. One week later was when I found out I was pregnant and I confronted him about. He was very nonchalant and I was beyond scared. I didn't know what to do. Not only was I pregnant, but the person who got me pregnant was said to have HIV. I made the choice to get an abortion and he paid for it. That day went by very quickly, I remember getting the procedure done and simply walking out the clinic. This guy called me non stop to "apologize" and "see if I was OK" according to the voicemail's he left. I never answered a single call. He wanted to drive me home but I was too disgusted to even look at his face. I walked home from the clinic by myself and never saw him again...

Now that situation was over and done with, I was still worried about being HIV positive. I found out this guy got me pregnant by taking off the condom without my knowledge, he had a girlfriend, he was really 33 nstead of 26, what else could he have lied about? I would cringe at seeing psa's regarding HIV testing, if I had it I didn't want to know.
There would be days where I spent 7 + hours on the Internet, symptom searching and convincing myself that I was positive. For months I would do this...other months I would completely put it off. It wasn't until Spring 2009, where I got the courage to get tested. I got the courage to because of reading stories on this site. I couldn't live the way I lived any longer and it was something that I just had to do. My results came out negative and you guys have no idea how relieved I am. My results could have EASILY been positive. I know HIV is not a death sentence, but I feel like I have 2nd chance at life. I hate the fact that I had spent almost 2 years of my life worrying if I was HIV positive or not.

Ladies, what I am saying is not new at all. I'm sure I'm not the first person who went through this and I won't be the last. I just want to say that you have to be careful with the guys you meet!!! I know I made a stupid choice and I am definitely not trying to play victim here. Just please, don't be so trusting and naive like I was.

There are guys who will:

- have sex with you but not care about you.
- get you pregnant and say its not their problem.
- knowingly spread HIV and think nothing of it.

You have to be careful with who you get involved with!!!! I was young, dumb and naive with low esteem and made plenty of bad choices with men in my past years. I will be 24 soon and I am a much different person from who I was before. I hope I helped someone with my story. Please get tested if you think you have been exposed to HIV.


Sent via Email July 4, 2009 from New York, USA.


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